Idols... Six of The Best

When Sunday comes, it only means one thing: the Idols come visiting our houses. And with beauty queen Cynthia having left, an air of ugly expectation had gripped the Idols fraternity with realization that one talented singer would still go home week after week. It was African theme week, and if the Jacob Zuma loved song Umshini Wami (Bring Me My Machine Gun) was chosen by any contestant, we were going to be blown away.

First things first. Lebo, in bloo shirt, was doing justice to his clothing designer. If he left the show and went into the thread business, the ‘Lebo Label‘ should be a smash hit. The Judges looked more excited. Who wasn’t? Contestant. You. Negatively. Treated. Here. Isn’t. Around! In one word, C.Y.N.T.H.I.A…

TK still thinks he is The King (TK), Angel A in a headscarf for a second week running still thinks there can be no Angel B and Scar still thinks he’s the Tzar. Only in my mind, Lebo asks Scar: Will we miss Cynthia? And Scar replies: Depends on how accurately we shoot!

What Scar knows is that the audience has lost the chance to hold out placards written ‘LMAO’ or ‘LOL’ after each Cynthia performance. And what Kawesa (who gets booed at each intro for that ‘trash’ comment) knows is that he can no longer tell us the six words: Vote Wisely. Or Vote For Cynthia.

Back to the show. It was going to be a tall order for contestants to bring out their vocal prowess in the African songs. And it sure turned out to be an order as tall as the giraffe that completely emerged as the star of the show.

Now, the rose that Mkhululi gave to the lucky girl last week has wilted by now, but his voice has not faltered. If he really wanted to give that girl a good gift, he would have bottled his sultry voice and handed it over to her. The beauty of not doing that is that he got to sing to us ‘Mhla Uphel Amandla’ where he still touched some hearts without moving anything but his lips. Kawesa, who is never on the ground at the Bomas, thought it was the Ground Zero performance of the night.

Nicolette has been one of my favourites as she increases the lighting in my living room with that smile. She has a smile as wide as Watamu Beach. I don’t want to put the model label on her, but she may be causing a bitter contest between Colgate and Close Up on her endorsement of their products. Even the smiley emoticon has nothing on her. Julia Roberts comes close, but can she sing? Nicolette that is. Song choice had the word smile in its title. Eish. Her performances have been more of yo-yo. Brilliant the other day, good the other week, average this week. ‘A Cry, A Smile, A Dance’ was better done by Judith. The positioning of the mic was such that you couldn’t even see the lips that kissed the giraffe.

Eric on the other hand has really infuriated the Association of Barbers of Africa. Young boys across the continent are refusing to have their hair shaved! But if the biblical Samson had strength in his hair, Eric’s hair might add to the powerful voice that is God given. Ringo will be somewhere trying to rekindle the Beatles and wondering how someone could have pulled off a better ‘Sondela’ complete with Swahili lyrics.

When it comes to a female musician, you usually get two kinds: A diva or Adiona. That was until Adiona came onto the stage yet again. She is the only female musician who is in both categories of female musicians. If you were in her shoes (which no doubt Angela as per the first audition wishes she was) you would like to do a Freshly Ground song that has repetitive lyrics. You did good girl. And thanks for answering my question.

Trinah will never work for the Post Office. Because whilst the Mailman does not deliver on Sunday, she delivers each Sunday. Her performances have been phenomenal. I think the only reason Angela said God had given us a Malaika (Angel in Swahili) when she heard Faycal was because she had yet to meet Trinah at the auditions. She really is. It only gets better and better each Sunday. Nice job (though not excellent). But maybe it is her ‘Destiny’ to win this competition.

Ammara is the only lady left in the competition whom you could try to use the pick up line: The name is ________. Remember the name, you will be SCREAMING it later. She may have been dubbed worst by Kawesa last week, but her version of ‘Vulindlela’ was however toned down on the screaming and the Maasai outfit clad girl did very well with the dancing combined. It was okay. Brenda, who is now with the real Big Dude, would have been proud.

Now, Jacob Zuma (do they ever call him Jay Z?) may be a lookalike of Papa Shirandula of the Coke BRRRR advert but after this performance, he would be singing: BRRRRring Me My Camera! So that he can get those tourist feature shots of the giraffe. And then we will start hearing the song… ‘I Shot The Giraffe… But I Did Not Shoot The Deputy!’

The contestants could have tried out even better known singers like Yvonne Chaka Chaka or singers from across the continent, but all in all, it was great way to pay homage to African musicians. The show must go on and one person has to go home. So as we vote, we should ask ourselves hard questions, if we are honest with ourselves. Does he bring tears to your eyes as he sings? Don’t just vote because she holds the microphone as if it was a pleasure toy and makes you get carried away. Let us vote for the best performances. Please.