Friday, June 27, 2008

Republic versus Cynthia

This is a simple matter. Ten weeks ago, a beautiful lass saw the advert for Idols and took the bold decision to audition. As a believer of cross border ties, she auditioned away from home, near the Bujagali Falls. As Ugandans dropped out of contention like water at the Falls, she made it. Out of over 1,000 persons who auditioned, some of whom MNet stated were the downright hopeless, Cynthia Kuto made the Top 65. She went on to be shortlisted to the Top 38. And the Top 24.

The real downright hopeless (viewers) started voting and she made the cut for the Top 10.
A complaint has arisen about the eviction of Cynthia from the Idols show and a prayer has been made to return her to the show. It appears to me that the so called judges, who had praised her earlier, started having chameleon features and treated her with disdain. Negative comments freely flowed after each performance. There hasn’t been any such unfair treatment of a person since the Lions v Christians.

Ever graceful, Cynthia even acknowledged that she had some not inspiring moments like at the Top 24 group stage. Instead of appreciation, she was scornfully made to sound as if she had shortlisted herself and made it to the Top 10 under dubious circumstances. Words were thrown at her every performance. Houdini! What are you still doing here! You sounded like you were singing for your drunk friends! Some idiot even posted a blog saying she would only win Skunk Idols.

Common decency was thrown out of the window. It was regrettably replaced by vicious attacks and general lack of appreciation for all the efforts that Miss Kenya… oops, Ms Kuto put in week after week. My heart goes out to the stoic girl who weathered this storm.

As R Kelly sings, ‘The Storm Is Over Now!’ How someone who had topped the votes last week would be the one with the least votes this time is the biggest turnaround in the history of history. As Judge, I am as perplexed as all the fans of Cynthia. This has to be the biggest robbery since the Nai-Robbery!

If you happened upon Scars comments after each performance of Cynthia, you would have thought you were watching the movie Beauty and the Beast! TK’s last comments disguised as praise for improvement were as fake as that cheap Rolex he had on his hands. Angie refused to judge her performance, in the biggest dereliction of duty by a public servant since the Zimbabwe Electoral Commission refused to announce the Presidential Results.

This case saddens me immensely. How independent is Independent Judge Kawesa? How appropriate are the comments of Lebo after Cynthia sang as he asked people to vote that the terrible singers leave. Yes, how?

In view of the above, I find it worth ruling that this much insulted girl is better off staying out of harms way than being returned to the show. The wicked judges and those nookie-starved viewers saying she should be a Victoria’s Secrets model deserve the punishment of not watching Cynthia again. This was beauty too rich, for Idols too dear.

In the interest of the public health, I rule that each party should bear their own costs. However, a full refund of the bus fare from Nairobi to the Ugandan auditions should be made to Cynthia.

Those are the orders of the court...

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