Welcome to the Idols Top Seven or the Idols-Top-Six-and-One-Other as some people have claimed. You know one of the advantages of Cynthia being on this show, is that it has made many people realize the value of the MUTE button on the TV remote.
This was a Sunday when the sun was not showing up during the day. Do they still call Nairobi the City in the Sun? My jewels froze at the Safari 7s, gave away my Project Fame Finale tickets and beat traffic so as to watch the show from the comfort of the couch. Coffee, check! Speakers, check! MUTE button, check! Do Not Disturb sign at the door, check!
The Idols make another appearance to my house this time arranged in order of their ages from Nicolette to Eric. As the contestants troop in, Lebo is clearly and visibly having butterflies. Oh, I mean on his jacket. Next time, they will arrange them in order of height and finally, Cynthia will be top of a category!
Trinah knows its cold so she kicks off the show with a lot of heeeeeaaaaat. As usual, her performance is bordering on flawless. Everybody loves her so if she really wants to dance with somebody who loves her, she is going to do a lot of dancing! What a great way to begin!
Last week Eric almost headbutted the camera when he was introduced as the first act… though the cameraman wasn’t worried since the afro is a great cushion. That was last week. This was ‘Here and Now’. It was a night when Eric Moyo lived up to his last name (in Swahili) and stole the hearts of everybody.
And then along came Cynthia. Is it any wonder that the phrase STILL HERE rhymes with CYNTHIA?
The truth is, if someone came up with a beauty product called SKUNK and they became the sponsors of Idols, Cynthia, who is having a stinker in this show, will probably win Skunk Idols!
Added to her long list of crimes against music was a rendition of ‘One Day I’ll Fly Away’ which granted, was an improvement. Sure, there isn’t any place to go when you are at the bottom.
Angie turned the judgment to her and asked her for a score out of Ten. The crowd roared: ELEVEN! No wonder tickets to the show are so scarce nowadays. Her entire village is checking in.
If you have ever studied numerology, you know that Cynthia’s chances when she entered the Top 10 were a simulacrum of her weekly score. One out of ten. Ever the modest one, she gave herself seven AND A HALF. We know she can’t sing but she can’t judge too? Anyway, enough about Angela… oh… Cynthia…
During a commercial break, which wasn’t a period of quiet reflection for me, I decide to check my text messages. Marto has asked, ‘How is Cynthia doing? I love that girl’
Love? Look mister, am not a cheap erotic writer. But let me try… Some people will not be satisfied even if she took off her blouse and rubbed her exposed chest with ice cubes as she sang. Anyways, so Scar still labels her Houdini! And Angie said she is not climaxing!!!
Whilst I had thought Adiona was most likely to take the walk this week, she sang ‘The Weakness In Me’ quite well. If you compare it with Debra Chansa’s audition, Adiona’s version ought to bail her out. And people like me who had written her off are going to remember the three little words. Not. So. Fast.
Now ‘Have I Told You Lately’ that if M-Net gave Mkhululi a new job at their call centre, he will be answering the phone: Hallo, this is your smooth operator…
He painted a rosy picture of the performances this night and made one girl the recipient of a red rose. Two girls actually, if you count the other rose at the end of the show. And he even said there were more roses backstage. Roses aside, the boy sang well and deserved the applause and the love.
Now, those Ammara fans have to listen up. Your Idol Ammara is not an Idol yet. And she is making it even harder if she sings as she did. ‘Careless Whisper’ has never been sung so carelessly! And the screaming just doesn’t go with a song title that has the word ‘whisper’ in it’s title! It wasn’t any wonder Kawesa thought this was the worst of the night… and in many ways, Cynthia aside, he was right. She however got some brownie points for those childhood photos… eh. Brownie for Ms. Brown, get it?
Nicolette had problems in her ‘Life History’ assignment for she had lost her voice. She must have prayed hard to get the voice back for the show, and just appropriately, took on Madonna and the song ‘Like A Prayer’. It wasn’t as good as last week. The dancing around and catching notes was awkward and quite the anti-climax to the show. If she was Nico-ROCKS last week, this was more of Nico-SHOCKS, but granted her difficulties with the voice, it was a good (as opposed to ‘not too good’) performance.
As Cynthia will no doubt rate it, that was a show AND A HALF. It was a good show at the Bomas where Mkhululi was the top dawg… and if girls want to be get the roses next time, the poster to accompany such performance, is only one: BHEBHE CAN I HOLD YOU TONIGHT!