Idols… The Fave Five

It was a typical July night in Nairobi lashing and tipping down with rain. The sky had opened up for several hours and the sultry damp evening had an ‘Its Raining Men’ theme to it as we headed to Bomas where ironically Eric was the only man and The Last Man Standing on Idols.

There was some need to hand Lebo the Nobel Prize for Prophesy as he had correctly predicted that each contestant in the Top Five would sing two songs each. Two songs each! It was the equivalent of asking the bar-tender: Make mine a double!

Bling bling TK was looking ever cheerful. If the so-called Global Warming rain outside flooded the theatre, he would be the first to sink due to that glittering heavy watch. Please hand TK the Nobel Prize for Weight Lifting.

The latest rhyme from the Judges corner was that ‘Angela’s hair has become rare’ as she donned the headscarf yet again. I ask someone whether that headscarf is permanent. "If that headscarf is a permanent structure she would have had to apply to the City Council for planning permission for it by now!"

Scar looks over at Angela’s notebook, frowns and strikes out her comment: That performance was like kissing Scar! Of late, the mention of Cynthia has seemed to come in my every blog. There! Now it is including this one. Scar frowns a second time as he notices Cynthia in the crowd. He whispers to Angie: There are some people who are told that they can sing, and they swallow the lie Hook, Line and Cynthia.

Kawesa is keeping away from the potential flooding by hiding in his usual nest-perch giving him a Bird’s Eye View. So that is what the Independent means in ‘Independent Judge’? Sitting in an independent box.

The contestants are introduced. The double whammy songs mean there will be a wardrobe change at half time. But what in high heavens was Trinah wearing for her first song? Surely iDENTiTY could identify some proper clothes without looking like they have started a new design line for the series Prison Break.

Nicolette kicks off the show with a performance that annoys ‘Absolutely Everybody’. Nicolette really has been on a mission to press the self destruct button in this showpiece event. When she made it to Top 5, I knew she was going places but I really did not know one of the first places was the Jomo Kenyatta International Airport. Scar labels her opening the worst in the Spectaculars. That means worse than Cynthia’s opening of the Top 10. The same Cynthia who has since dropped out of her contention with Uncle Bob as Africa’s Most Hated.

On a night when the show had creative openings by contestants, Ammara has her Marilyn Monroe moment on the bar-stool drawing oodles and oodles of cheers from the males in the crowd. If she had fallen off that bar-stool, she would have forever had Alicia Key's 'Fallin' as her personal theme tune. Simon Cowell banned the song from American Idols but that decision would be overturned if he heard the Ammara rendition.

Remember I am on the sofa in the Fan Lounge. Sofa so good! And before Lebo could say ‘This … is Eric!’ the girls have upped the cheers. Without once looking back over his shoulders, he sings quite impressively to an extent that someone asks me: Are you sure the song was by Mike and The Mechanics… or was it Eric and the Mechanics? Okay, hand Eric the Nobel Prize for Music!

Now mark ‘These Words’. I had tipped Trinah at the outset to be the Top Girl and I still fancy her. Not in the Biblical sense... Her opening gimmick is sitting next to the front row and belting out the Natasha Beddingfield hit edging her to a 2-1 lead at half time according to the judges.

Adiona walks the six steps to make her appointment with the mic to sing This Is My Now (a feat that Trina later reprised in her ‘On My Own’ song). Wild-card Adiona’s performance of late has been quite like burger hawkers McDonalds. I’m lovin it!

Nicolette returns and somewhat redeems her credibility with ‘A Moment Like This’. It is probably too little too late though. If she stays in the competition, she is only going to play the violin for the other contestants in the Finale. For the night's low point - in the truest sense of the word - came when Nicolette sang the low notes in such a mundane way you would have thought you were listening to a lullaby.

Lady-In-Red Ammara opens her second performance as if she had really fallen. She has really upped up her opening routine and knows just how to make the audience get to the “Ooo…” moment and hold on to them until the end of the song without making them lose the “…oooohhh” part. Kawesa's Bird's Eye View finally pays off. Her first song still sounded better though as my ears ‘Hurt’ when she sings this one.

You probably know what happens ‘When A Man Loves A Woman’ but you should have seen what happens When A Crowd Loves An Idol! Eric has really mastered the routine as he returns with the show stopper! He serenades Angela, serenades the whole crowd and then from the crowd picks out one girl. It was such a where-were-you moment! Forget Jose Mourinho! Eric Moyo really is the Special One. He even really is the Extra Special One.

I picture the press interview of the girl after the show. She is hysterical! “I want the bus to run over me! I want to get a heart attack! Throw me into the Lions Den! Eric sang to me! I can die happy!”

Trinah is now in trouble! The bar has been raised and she clearly had joined in the cheering of Eric as she seems to lose her voice as she begins her ‘On My Own’ song. Later in the song, she breaks into the high notes previously achieved only by Ammara. It is one of those moments when you just say to yourself: “Did I just hear that? No way!” But with Eric’s hat trick, the score from the three judges has clearly reversed to 2-4.

Adiona closes a memorable show with ‘Lady Marmalade’ by wiping a kiss off Scar. With her suggestive costume, she really is trying to change the Top 5 headlines so that they may read: SCAR-NDALOUS!

It is sad as we realize the show had really moved at a fast pace like clockwork. It was tight. It was tighter than Scar’s lips in the Malawi auditions. No silly questions, no long video intros. In fact, the only thing that went on for long was Eric’s applause after he brought the house down with his second song. The headlines remain: ERIC THE PICK OF THE EPIC!