Sunday, July 20, 2008

Idols… The Top Three

Unless you have been living in either a pre-historic or Afghan cave for the last few weeks, three names: Trinah, Eric and Nicolette have meant something every week. They have been slugging it out in the Idols Top Ten. How ironic that the initials Trinah, Eric and Nicolette spell out the word Ten! It was all in the stars.

Yes, the TV show that has had a fair share of suspense, drama, unpredictability, excitement, hysteria and… Cynthia was on its second last show and the Top Three lined up to sing three songs each!

First off, the anagrams of the Top 3. Eric Moyo has been serenading all with his performances but whilst he melts hearts, he is ‘Icy Romeo.’ Trinah Chisanga has the singing tone that caresses the ear and she comes out as a gem which is why she is ‘Ah! Shining Carat’. Nicolette Kiiga is the Miss Congeniality of the show but her anagram is ‘Ego Like Titanic!’

Well, here was hoping that the Titanic will not sink! The song to be sung were not drawn from lots but by the formula of the Idols own pick followed by the Fans Choice and then the Judges selection.

Lebo, the Presenter Who Looks Like He Is Selling You An Umbrella When It Is Raining, opens the routine with the usual hyperbole about people having lived in a cave. Oops! Kettle, Pot, Black etc etc. I started the blog the same way! As Lebo appears on stage, the girls start to prematurely salivate leading to decibels of noise that the scientific boffins are still trying to calculate.

Kawesa, the Judge Who Is As Unpopular As The Forty Bob Coin, is introduced looking all magisterial. The Top T.E.N must be waiting with delight on his words at the end of the show. Barring any unmitigated voter concurrence, Kawesa’s views will remain more wrong than controversial. If you ask me, the oxygen-poor air is clouding Kawesa’s judgement in that booth.

TK, the Judge Who Shouts After Each Performance, is looking great and trying to memorize the sentence: Must not say the words ‘You Know What’ before I make my comments tonight. You know what, place your bets with him now! You know what, just forget it.

Angela, the Judge Who Finds Shoes, Eric and Clothes Irresistible, is looking irresistible herself with the hat ensemble. Double A must be carrying a thermometer for she recently told us how the temperature around her had been raised when Nikki winked at TK.

Scar, The Judge Who Elicits More Pain With His Jabs Than A Roadside Dentist, is looking funky. He could be the CEO of the Idols version of Apprentice but most neutrals watching are hoping that the underdog is not on his firing line tonight.

Nicolette starts the triple classic with the Kelly Clarkson hit ‘Anytime’ which she delivered with a look of frightening trepidation. Maybe we should again blame Scar for this one. He told her last time to believe her own hype. It was a sad opening to the show. Loved the white pants though.

Trinah was next up trying to step in the shoes of Aretha Franklin with the song ‘Natural Woman’. Now we all remember that the good man Edwin Kgaswane of Botswana sang this song during the auditions. That audition was my coffee spluttering moment. Trinah’s version was mellow, lovely and natural.

Football-loving Eric came through his challenge of Whacko Jacko’s bi-racial theme song without even wearing a Newcastle United jersey with Black And White stripes but a shirt that was close. The crowd loved the experiment. For his next challenge, I bet Eric will place frozen butter on the judges table and do any song. The butter will melt.

Nicolette agonizingly went through the next song which was Faith Hill’s ‘The Way You Love Me’ in a seated position. Speaking of sitting, it was as if she had sat out this whole round. The bad news is that she does, after all, have a future at Broadway.

Trinah has been placed on the pedestal by some of the Judges and it was quite appropriate that she started out her second song on the high chair, which was not quite the pedestal. Finally she put on some cool threads this round as she sang ‘Put Your Records On’. A classic… is a classic… is a classic and Corinne Bailey Rae would still love this version.

Eric was battling a cold but you would have never noticed by how he sang the second song originally done by Seal. Eric may have sang ‘Kiss From A Rose’ but when he finished, kisses were blown at him by all the girls. Kiss From A Monica, Kiss From A Naomi, Kiss From A Rita, Kiss From A Winnie and of course, Kiss From Angela.

Nikki was hoping to ‘Save The Best For Last’. The trouble with saving the best for last, is that sometimes, you get caught up by the Sell By Date. She rendered the Vanessa Williams hit quite well and the thought that came to my mind was: Is there no limit to this girl’s escapology? She may have left it too late.

‘I Believe’ that Trinah brought out all the emotion including tears in her Fantasia song that came up next. I loved it. Even without playing some tricks like sprinkling some dust on the stage, she still sounded magical and on course to win the 80,000 beans.

The one who would stop her is, of course, Eric who ended the night by stopping the sun on its tracks with ‘Don’t Let The Sun Go Down On Me’. He may have just lost his voice, but Angela lost her mind a long time ago. If Eric had pretended to walk his dog on stage, the girls would still have cheered and Angie would have still said: He walked the dog in style!

Scar conceded that Eric was the coolest dressed man; Kawesa committed his usual careless remarks stating that either Trinah or Nicolette would be going home. A truer statement, but also, blatantly false. Because only one contestant on the night was like the granny who keeps popping around for Christmas. Her smell just lingers onto the New Year. But surely not to the Finale in July.


Shiko-Msa said...

Haki this Kawesa guy wherever did they get him from? He's always a bad end to a good show. I think what he was saying is that Eric is the definite winner.

Today I see we agree on most things ama?

Shiko-Msa said...

Shock shock Trina is out! Now I'd not be surprised if Houdini Nicholette won the title. I was so sure she was going.

So Kawesa was right after all.

Our Kid said...

Well well well.... you cannot force people to vote for your favourite. Eish.

If Houdini pulls it off, it will take a great effort to keep me from getting angry!!!

But such is life.

Kirima said...

Africa votes in mysterious ways! Quite a shocker last night but No way Nikki will win it but then again I don't vote so I can't really complain

Shiko-Msa said...

But the next time Africa tells us we're looking for singing idols then let it be singing idols they're looking for.

Radical Hypocrit said...

That 'I believe' was the worst 'I beleive' in the short history of 'I believe's.

Word making the rounds is, retards cried buckets.

I'm glad Africa finally let the 'horse' go to the manger.


That 'Black and White' was the worst 'White' song ever sung by a 'Black' dude.

The all romantic EYE-do in 'Kiss from a rose' brought back memories of the long lost band KISS - plain U.G.L.Y.

Africa keeps feeding Eric the fat growling pig in cashmere sweaters. Why? Is it the flu?


Nicolette must sing nude next week. She is done singing. It's now time for business.

Isn't democracy at it's best on Idols this year? While the eloquent writers are busy blogging on their berries, The commoners are busy keeping the underbitch in, The power is back to the people!

If I were Kawesa, I'd be hanging like an old underwear. He is sweet though - kinda like a little monkey; locked and peed on week after week by the same circus crowd, coz he never catches any bananas,

The little monkey who thought he was King Kong has been don-played!

Our Kid said...

Oh Radical, you are really radical!

That had me in stitches. I take it you think all the Top 3 do not deserve to be in the Top 3.

Well, and why oh why, did people vote out Cynthia! That was the worst reality of democracy.

Eric needs to tone down that growling but I think given his limitations, he did well.

Nicolette shocked me with her escapology and I think Eric fans voted for her in droves!!!

I think you judge Trinah too harshly. Her previous performances were no so bad...

But again, MJ sang Bad...