Sunday, July 13, 2008

Idols... The Fab Four


It was down to four. For last Monday, Ammara left us in a way that made most of us think about the song ‘Hey, That’s No Way To Say Goodbye’. This isn’t Utopian Idols, but in a perfect world of violins and perfect sunsets, or even just a reasonable one, Nicolette would have been the one plucked from the Idols Garden last week.

But everybody deserves a bit of luck, I guess. Or, to put it another way, if you say someone has a dog’s chance of staying, do not put your mortgage on it! That’s why Uncle Bob is President once again and Nicolette was not at the bottom of the pile last week!

But some people never know when to stop kicking a man when he is down. Someone wrote in to me: You sir, will regret your words about Nicolette. Maybe not today, but tomorrow and for the rest of your Idols life. And when you beg to differ and plead to be fed your own words ground into some half-baked humble pie then some of us will say no, let him starve in his own "rightness" for that is the man who once said: "If Nicolette stays, she is only going to play the violin for the other contestants in the Finale."

With such strong words, it took sheer boldness and cajoling from my niece for me to run up to the Bomas. On our way, Keli (the niece) is singing ‘Eric Till I Die!” to the tune of the Bryan Adams’ song ‘Eighteen Till I Die!” Like a kid at a Christmas ATM, she is excited about the show that she even refuses my offer to check into some restaurant and nosh up some food.

“Not unless the Idols are running those restaurants!’ she replies.

You know, if the Fab Four Idols opened restaurants, I think this is what they will, in review, be like:-

TRINAHS: This Five Star restaurant welcomes everybody with a glass of the finest champagne. It may seem expensive but when you look around, you realize why it is expensive. Sheer class commensurate to the cost. The returns must be very very good.

NICOLETTES: This restaurant is specialized in fast food. It is very satisfying but the appealing food shouldn’t be taken in large quantities. Not something you can rely on on a daily basis, however.

ADIONAS: What a fine dining. It is beautifully presented, ornate and tantalizing to the taste buds. It is a good experience but ultimately the memories last too short.

ERICS: Home-style comfort food using foodstuffs mixed together in a simple, efficient way that just works and rarely lets you down. Plus a secret ingredient that adds a dash of flair to enhance the experience. Reliable, memorable, leaves you pining for more. When done right, as good as anything you can find in the classiest of restaurants.

So we check in at the Bomas. The usual opening sequence takes place.

Our host is doing his Lebo best to make us feel at home at the Bomas which incidentally is Swahili for homesteads. Those who are quite interested in why some people were ever born will – if they are Lebo headed - easily find that Lebo was born for TV.

TK is in the house. Remember when he was dissing contestants that what they sang sounded ‘Too Karaoke’ for him. Imagine that. Too Karaoke? TK? Incidentally, TK doesn’t even stand for Traditional Knowledge.

Angela looks great in the hat. Truly, home is where your hat is. I cross my fingers that she has hidden her inhaler in that hat if Eric decides to serenade her once again and take her breath away!

Lebo asks: Now, Scar, can you imagine how you would have reacted if Cynthia came over to the Judges desk to give you a hug after winning Idols? Scar laughs. Of course not! She is never going to win Idols even if she tried each season! On a serious note, Scar seems cheerful and is quite happy he didn’t have to order that scaffold after all.

Kawesa hasn’t been smiling too much. He may be getting sued by punters who keep placing bets on his choice of the Worst of The Night, who always is someone who doesn’t walk on Monday. That Bird’s Eye View must be a Bad Eye View.

Eric kicks off the show by singing ‘All Night Long’. Of course that is the song title, eejits. He couldn’t be singing the whole night, surely as if he was a computer game. The dancing is spot on and he does a soulful rendition. When Eric kicks off a show, you just know that this is going to be Happy Hour!

Nicolette who did her own Houdini Act last Monday, is next up with a Diana Ross song. The earliest memory I have of the song ‘Do You Know Where You Are Going To?’ was when I once took a bus and the driver was speeding whilst the song was playing in the background. It is not the kind of song a speed-happy driver should play since the answer is not very obvious. The way Nikki sang it, at least the answer is not the Airport.

Adiona is such a darling. Long Live The Mother Who Gave Birth To This Charming Girl. She posed for a photo with Keli after the show and thus got ‘The Greatest Love’ from her.

It is always hard to reprise a Celine Dion song. Hard that is, unless you are Adiona. The cameraman brought some hisses from the Bomas crowd when he went behind her… but she put all that behind and delivered good vocals.

Trinah went down on her knees to give a ‘Beautiful’ impression of Christina Aguilera’s song and ended it on her knees. We know that Zambians have shown their singing prowess before on the continental stage. Lindiwe won Project Fame, remember. And when Trinah sings, you don’t need to look at her passport to know: The girl is Zambian. And she can sing!

Nicolette makes a return in a smashing evening gown with a slit so high it seems to incessantly go on. Now if last week she had an easily forgettable performance, this was ‘Unforgettable’. She went over to serenade TK who gives a Cheshire cat serious competition with his grinning. Now that is what we call a TK! Technical Knockout! And it is at this point that I eat my half-baked humble pie!

Last week, the heavy rain was blamed for all the ills that it would have been perfect had Ammara sang ‘Blame It On The Rain.’ Adiona saw the opportunity in the rains and brought out the ‘Umbrella’ theme. There is something quite wonderful about hearing a song you do not like (Ella Ella Eh Eh) being sung like that. Those Idols Producers are lunatic! They even probably have Fan Choice lined up next!

From what I hear, when man landed on the moon, the cheers it elicited were less than the cheers Eric gets when he lands on the Idols stage. This time, the cheers range from girls to women and Boyz II Men as ‘End of the Road’ gets a just treatment from Eric. The crowd joins in the sing-a-long and then gives him a standing ovation.

To close it up, is Trinah who throws off her ‘Shackles’ as she sings and gets to showcase her ‘Bend It Like Trinah’ dance, adding a groovy treat to a great gospel track. That is how good Trinah is. Every time she produces a musical note, it is refined and nobody thinks: I can’t believe that tune came from her mouth. Happy Hour therefore ends on a Happy Note!

So Top Three next. Can't wait!

11 comments:

Shiko-Msa said...

ha ha ha we agree on a lot of things one of them ella ella ella hey hey hey - whoever composed that??!! They should be sued!

I agree Angie looked real good in that hat I forgot to add that on the other side.

And Kawesa was wearing a horrid horrible shirt.

We also both agree that there is a Houdini in the show.

Hey! Adiona looks a bit like Debra Sanaipei in that photo. And the kagirl is soooo cute.

I stand by Nichollete because surely how could someone select such a song for her? Nat who? they sold her out those producers. Cant wait for top 3. Lets wait and see.

Shiko-Msa said...

I'm now catching myself humming under my umbrella ella ella ella. That's a bit annoying.

Our Kid said...

Shiko ... from Wikipedia... "Umbrella" was written by Terius "The Dream" Nash, Christopher Stewart, Kuk Harrell and Jay-Z!! Four people! It has been announced as the 7th most successful song of the last decade with 8.614.000 points. I kid you not!! "Umbrella" won a Grammy Award for Best Rap/Sung Collaboration in addition to receiving nominations for Record of the Year and Song of the Year.

Ella, ella, ella....

Radical Hypocrit said...

Nice Blog! Mind if I say

At this point, Trinah is no longer the best, The Shackles song was pretty much in shackles, Trinah just did not have enough range for that song (surprise, surprise), She whispered the first few lyrics (smart move), Thanks to the backup singers - it picked up, But why give someone with a husky voice an Aguilera song?, I love Trinah but She cannot sing low or high, Her self expression through vocals is what is appealing to the crowd but her vocal is actually all over the damn place, As much as I wish her success, an idol can't be someone stuck on a medium pitch,

Eric was worse, There wasn't a single thing he changed leave alone the jeans, Thank god Lionel is still alive (especially after Eric the prick constantly addressed him by his first name) and laughed his as off at Eric's clumsy rendition of the otherwise beautiful song, Eric's Second performance was just Eric wooing Nairobbers, That doggy growl is back, Thanks again to the backup singers he would survive this week purely coz of the crazed female voters, But he ought to be sent home, The boy cannot be Versatile, Clearly producers are favouring him, We all know he can do BoyzIIMen in his sleep, Give him Rikki Martin, Let's see how this afro-man kicks it, Afterall, It's only fair after Adiona was forced to sing Dion, As for Eric, Somebody throw this 90s dog a bone,

Poor Adiona, That's all I can say, Looks like she is heading where the producers have set her up to go, to the Gallows,

I have not said a good thing about Nicolhat up until now, I ate the biggest humble pie over the weekend, Didn't mind though, Coz the old but ripe wine that Nicollette provided went with it just fine, It seems that, the longer she stayed, the more mature and pleasant her voice got, Hallelujah, Christmas in July! Tasteful dress to accompany a performance that was just right - there was nothing fake or forced about it, She let the music speak for her humble presence in top 4, She had the worst song choices so to speak but made the best out of the crunked producers, Even if she gets voted out, Nicollette will remain unforgettable,

So now, when do we get to see a picture of Our Kid with Cynthia? Or is Our Kid shy?

Radical Hypocrit said...

Sorry, Didn't mean to make my own blog, It just happened, One of those Ammara things,

Gladys said...

hey ur niece keli n Adiona are they related...how come you haven't confesesd your Zambia roots? or its just sheer coincidence,

still Eric's magic might outdo all the galz.....

Our Kid said...

Radical hypocrit LOL!!!

I think the Producers clearly favoured Eric in the song choices. To quote no one but Angela, Trina still brings out 'emotions' in songs and maybe that just gets her by. I still think her best performance was when she sand The First Cut Is The Deepest. Now that was Week 2 of the Top 10 and it shows how she has stayed long by previous performance. She sold me then and I still believe in her. Amen.

Eric gets too lucky and his routine is getting tired. He buys the crowd into sing-a-longs since Week 1 of the Top 10 but even though he doesn't cut it vocally, he can perform. I guess that is what sells him. Plus the fact that he is the only male left. Girls have to appear heterosexual by voting for him, I guess.

I like Adiona. She is such a charmer!! But coming to Top 4 as a Wild Card that was really really great. At least the Judges did something I will appreciate!

Nikki brought it home like you said. Had TK drooling like a fat kid drools at cake. It was sexy act. And people are always on Scar's case. The way she sang the first song, Scar was already sold. He got the last laugh too when everybody agreed Nikki had stolen the night. It should have been Scar getting that wink of approval from her, he he.

Now, Our Kid loves Cynthia...oh. Shhhh.

And Gladys, Keli is not related to Adiona, though they even seemed to have the same colour schemes!

But G, why oh why, support Eric?

Gladys said...

I like Eric's voice - when he starts to sing , his voice has a echo effect n u dont want him to stop singing or is it the producers who pimp him...

then funny but i like the way he shakes his head n bulges eyes when he is asking for votes....

Our Kid said...

Gladys, that BRRRRRRR vote strategy of Eric is another reason I dont like him! Clearly he has got your 100 votes.

Shiko-Msa said...

uuuui thanks for the info about ella ella. I remember hearing all the hype about ella ella and wondering what it's all about when i watched the song. Then i listened to it some more and thought maybe it'll grow on me lakini wapi. It hit somehow. for the same reason movies like Waiting to Exhale was a huge hit maybe.

but at least she sang some other nice once baadaye so she can be given a Standing Ovation.

Shiko-Msa said...

Radical Hypocrit I so agree with your sentiments. Let's see what this week has to offer. Cant wait.