Tuesday, October 9, 2007

What If The August House Was Like The Big Brother House?

I picture the day that the founder of Endemol came up with the idea of the Big Brother television series. I reckon that he was seated round a table with other gurus of the creative department when discussing the new pitch for new television series. “How about we just put twelve people in a room and watch them?” he asked and everybody burst out laughing. “Why are you laughing?” he continued.

“Are you serious?” someone must have asked. “Twelve people, with no script! Who would watch that?” As it turns out, people are very intrigued with and addicted to mass voyeurism and the television show is as popular as anything else. Spin offs like Big Brother Africa have captured the imagination of a whole continent.

Which got me thinking. What if the principles of the Big Brother House were applied to the August House or the National Assembly of Kenya as we also know it. The Housemates shall be drawn from two hundred and ten constituencies around the country. The Housemates are to be in the House for a long period of 1,825 days rather than the standard 98 days.

Big Brother shall be none other than the Speaker of the House, Francis Ole Kaparo. It will be border on hilarity when he replaces his normal ‘Order! Order! Order!’ rantings with ‘This is Big Brother…’

Each Housemate has qualities that are different from the other. The Housemate from Garsen loves to engage in debate. He was perhaps the Chairman of the Debating Society in his High School. The Housemate from Rarieda has been involved in film making ventures and his company won an Emmy for arranging a song about Saying Yes to The Children. The Housemate from Kitui Central is a typical Bertha. One moment she is currying favour with the Housemate from Othaya and the next minute she is getting closer to the Housemate from Lang’ata. The Housemate from Gem reportedly loves to guzzle. According to the Big Brother website, he was involved in an accident along Mbagathi Road after one of these ventures.

On the first day, the Housemates heard the booming announcement: ‘This is Big Brother, will all Housemates gather in the Lounge.’ The Housemates were divided into two groups, one calling themselves ‘Serikali’ and the other calling themselves ‘Upinzani’. The teams each elected their Leader though technically the Head of House was the Housemate from Othaya. According to the Rules, the Head of House can only be changed after five years.

The Head of House has some privileges and he sleeps in the Pent House. This has made people refer to the five-year change of the Head of House as ‘The Road to the Pent House’. The Head of House also has immunity from some tasks in the House including the debating task. After the Housemates gathered in the Lounge, the Housemates were addressed by the Head of House before going into the Garden where they found that Big Brother had laid a small tea party for the Housemates.

Some Housemates have suffered some setbacks during their stay in the House. The Housemate from Magarini was evicted after it was found out by the Big Brother Panel that he had been unfairly selected during the auditions. However, when the auditions were done afresh, he still emerged as the Housemate from that region.

Other Housemates were excused by leaving the House through factors beyond their control. They were seen off by the other Housemates and we last saw them as they entered the diary room on their way out.

The Big Brother House has its fair share of surprises and twists. It has emerged that the former head of the group calling themselves ‘Upinzani’ had evicted from the House, this may have been a fake eviction as he is now back into the fray and though not in the Big Brother House, his son replaced him and has made overtures to the Head of House.

It was also shocking when the Housemate from Kiambaa who has was married to Kanu four months before entering the House started cuddling on the couch with other Housemates in the ‘Serikali’ camp. He claims that it is all just a game and was part of his strategy when he entered the House.

The viewers are preparing to vote for the Housemates they would like to evict and concurrently, if they evict a Housemate, they are obliged to replace that Housemate with another Housemate.

The Housemates who had allied themselves into the ‘Serikali’ group are worried that they may not be the Untouchables after all. One of the mystery guests called Waititu who had been invited to the House let out the secret that some viewers were not impressed with the antics of the ‘Serikali’ group. The group has gone into the overdrive turning the secret around and proclaiming that ‘viewers were very shocked hear what Waititu said.’

There is still bad blood between the Housemates. During one of the Diary Sessions, the Housemate from Nyaribari Chache nominated the Housemate from Lang’ata and gave the following reason: I would like him to be evicted because I don’t get along with him so well.

In the meantime, the Housemates have wagered 100% on most of the tasks that they have been given though some of the tasks are incomplete. This includes the task of the Miscellaneous Amendments Bill that has been pending since the Housemate from Kipipiri prepared the Shopping List in June.

Viewers have enjoyed the tenth season of the Big Brother Show and are gearing to vote for their favourites when the Season Finale show comes up at the end of the year. And to all the Housemates ans aspiring Housemates, remeber Big Brother is always watching you... oh wait, or is it you who has to catch Big Brother's eye?

1 comment:

Naomi said...

you know, you just got it spot on...I like the way you depict the members of the August house in relation to "Big Brother". It makes a good story. I don't think anyone can do a better job, weldone!!