Thursday, December 4, 2008

What the 'L'?



You may have across those vehicles that are on the road with a prominent sign of the letter ‘L’ on them.


This is a Memo to everyone: That does not mean the vehicle is being driven by a Lady or by a person driving like one.


So when Leyonce, a lady friend had recently stopped at a traffic light and the driver of the vehicle behind hooted at her… she switched off her vehicle and went to the window of the (obviously) male driver behind her and told him: My name is Leyonce. But that L on my car does not stand for Leyonce. It means Learner. Can you get that into your thick skull? Am learning. Treat me with kid gloves. Don’t hoot at me and startle me!


I still wonder why she didn’t say: It doesn’t stand for Lifeless, for as you can see I am walking!


Or better still: I am not Lily-livered! Or Laughing stock! Or a Librarian!


Thick skull, huh? That is Leyonce for you. And she was sober.


It got me thinking though. If the L on the vehicle stood for Learner, then who was teaching my friend at the time that she was learning since she was alone in her car?


In fact, I had a glance at the Grey Book and the answer can be found in the Traffic Rules found under the Traffic Act. Rule 12 states that a holder of a provisional driving licence is allowed to drive the vehicle when accompanied by a person who holds a valid driving licence. He or she should also exhibit the L behind and in front of the vehicle as per the Fifth Schedule of the Act.


The Fifth Schedule specifies the measurements of the letter L. The white paper on which it is written should be at least 175 millimetres by 175 millimetres whilst the letter L should be of the width 40 millimetres and in the colour red.


Knowing Leyonce, who is a colourholic (she claims my blue shirts are actually cyan or some colour else like that) like every lady, perhaps hers was in some fancy colour like scarlet.


Incidentally the Traffic Rules have some offences that most people are not aware of. For instance under Rule 66, no passenger is allowed to speak to a driver unless it is necessary to do so in order to ask him to stop the vehicle; or to distribute any printed matter for advertising; or to make excessive noise by singing; or to beg or hawk any item for sale; or to enter the vehicle with a jerrycan of petrol...


I particularly like Regulation 60 which my brother once was caught on: No petrol shall be carried in or on a motor vehicle except in the fuel tank.


So there you have it. The Rules are the Rules. The bottom line is that you can’t be learning if no one is teaching you!


But tell that to Leyonce. She once told an intern she was seriously underpaying: You are a Learner. When you have finished learning, we will take off the L and then you can become an Earner.


If that thick-skulled driver had asked me, a proper retort would have been: Madam, pardon me but for those drivers who aren’t accompanied by an Instructor and have the L sign, the L could stand for: Loony. Or Lawless. Or Liability. Or Lazy. Or Loafer. Or Last. Or Lost. Or Large-ass. Or Leggy. Or Lesbian.


Aah. That lesbian tag would get to Leyonce. She would have kissed him!

10 comments:

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Rafiki said...

Very funny, you made my day! Lery lunny, lou lade ly lay! lol

Gladys said...

Why didn't you think of Lonely! n that's why she was lashing at he driver - someone to talk to.....
or lovely......that's why she had to explain to the male driver what she was thinking and not leave him in ambiguity or the ignorance...

val said...

First time here...

Those Traffic rules have killed me...I'm very tickled...esp nthe bit about "talking to the driver"

Our Kid said...

@ Eugene... there seem to be a whole new L's you can think of!

@ Lafiki... leally?

@ Gladys... I have never even heard Leyonce singing Akon's Lonely. Maybe she should audition for Idols.

@ Val... those Traffic Rules are quite something. They even state that passengers should only enter or alight a vehicle through the door; should not spit in a car; should not throw any money to be scrambled for by people on foot; should not enter a car wearing greasy or messy clothes...

Supreme-G.R.E.A.M said...

I thot I put my comment! This was a hilarious read! Why wud u have a name like Leyonce? The lesbian part killed me I swear. I have always thot the L is for LUNATIC! This was also very informative on the law part. Could u like enlightens us on what it says on failure to carry a drivers License? That got me into some real shit a while back

Our Kid said...

Supreme... true dat! Section 36 states that any person driving a motor vehicle on a road shall carry his driving licence or provisional licence, and, on being so required by a police officer, produce it for examination.

So, the only way to escape this is to drive off the road onto the grass when you see cops and claim: The Section talks about 'on a road'. I am not on the road!

BTW, the fine for not carrying a DL is only 100 bob according to the Section.

BOMSEH said...

I am learning things here. Can L stand for Lascivious?

M said...

I'm going to put back my L on my car. It lets me jump lights and people generally stay away from me!

gladys said...

I like the no spitting,no greasy or messy clothes and the no carrying of petrol rule