Oh My God!

I seldom get steeped into religious controversy since Sir G is not the kind of G you mess up with. But I was born Catholic, bred Catholic, almost became a Catholic priest (imagine, that!) and am still Catholic, though still unsure if my Catholicism is Roman.

When I told my priest a few years ago that I was a ‘Liberal Catholic’ rather than a ‘Roman Catholic’, he retorted: Next, you’re gonna tell me you are a Deluded Catholic. Deluded? I think I got there some time back. I have ‘The Grace’ saved on my phone and got some laughs during Christmas when I was asked to pray at a family function and I fished out my cellphone and let the audio play on, or well, audio pray on. Since I also watch Vatican TV on Sunday mornings (in Latin) and assume I have attended mass, maybe I am a ‘Lazy Catholic’.

But am definitely not an atheist as I still get to say the three little words ‘Oh My God’ when the car gets to have a near hit from a matatu. Don’t begrudge I, some people have this as the most likely three words they say when they get to the Big O. Okay, some say them over and over. Oh my God! Oh my God! OH MY GAWD!

But its Easter time and memories flood back of all those back-then times I spent in church, carrying the cross and doing my dutiful as an altar boy with dreams of being the first Black Pope.

It is a big contrast with what we have now! Churches seem trendy now. A whole church choir in mini-skirts? Music blaring from the speakers and led by Gospel Rappers? Membership Cards with a micro-chip?

And then the prayers… oh the prayers. ‘Mighty and Everlasting Father! We come before you as humbly as we know how! We thank you Oh God for bringing us here yet another day Jehovah God! Many, oh God, would have liked to see this day oh mighty God but they didn't oh wonderful Father! We pray for your presence oh Prince of Peace oh Gracious God...’

Brevity indeed has never been the soul of wit when some are asked to pray. I say we pray!

That’s the crazy thing. Give someone else a chance and they start: ‘Good Morning God. You already know what I need, and I am quick to second you Lord. Amen.’

Whatever your religious inclination, have a blessed Easter! And if you will be going to Church, may the Lord hasten your footsteps… or quicken the tyres.